The rock hall of fame ceremony aired this year on April 30. Some of the acts that made the cut are Cheap Trick, NWA, Steve Miller, Deep Purple, and Chicago.
Janet Jackson, The Cars, Yes, the Spinners, Chaka Khan, Nine Inch Nails, and The Smiths all got the shaft this year (most of them are more interesting than the acts that got in). The ceremony will be broadcast on April 30 on HBO.
Where’s Ben E. King? He could outsing all the vocalists on the list and he just died in 2015!!!
I’m going to take a different tact from most of the rock hall of fame articles that are out there. The rock hall of fame would be vastly improved if they took out some performers and replaced them with better choices. Also they should probably change the name to the Rock, Pop, Rap, Reggae, and Funk Hall of fame.
Here are the performers that should be immediately impeached from the Rock Hall of Fame for high crimes against music.
*Chicago– The band played the most cloying, condescending, and calculated jazz pop junk imaginable. Their instrumentation is musical wall paper and their lyrics never rise above the sophistication of Hallmark cards. Their output is only slightly more inventive than their album titles. They are getting inducted this year.
Replace with more avant garde fusion combos like Weather Report or Mahavishnu Orchestra (or John McLaughlin alone), King Crimson, James Blood Ulmer or Pat Metheny. All of them play richer, tastier and more innovative versions of jazz fusion. If you want a poppier version of fusion, Blood Sweat and Tears were much impressive than Chicago (at least in the beginning.)
*The Dave Clark Five– The band delivered some classic singles (I’m thinking of “Bits and Pieces” and the classic catchy Beatles rip-off “Glad all Over.”), but many other British invasion bands were more important and should have gotten in first. Right off the top of my head I can think of the Zombies (Odyssey and Oracle is a near perfect album), The Pretty Things (they did a fine rock opera before Tommy and their early hits are Stones level classics), The Troggs, The Move, Manfred Mann, the Action and the Creation. Them were also far much more powerful and passionate (Their cover of Dylan’s “it’s All Over Baby Blue” is the definitive version.) I suppose I should be happy that Herman’s Hermits or Gerry and the Pacemakers did not get in.
The Eagles-British rock critic, Nick Kent once wrote that the Eagles were “denim draped self-obsessed faux hayseed hippy morons,” but he was being too kind. These smarmy fake cowboys were only tolerable the first few years when they had more of a country influence. Early Eagles songs are still listenable (although they are of course several notches beneath the Byrds best country rock work) but their attempts to rock out on “The Long Run” are a disgrace. “Take it Easy” was the start of the hangover after the great musical party of the ‘60s, but I do like Joe Walsh’s guitar work. Even I admit though that Glenn Frey’s “Dirty Laundry” is brilliant. Still the Eagles should get in when hell freezes over.
Replace with more substantial country rock performers such as the Flying Burrito Brothers, Gram Parsons, Emmylou Harris or Little Feat. The Flatliners and even Joe Ely alone could incinerate the Eagles onstage any day of the week. The Eagles were only more extraordinary in terms of sales.
Genesis (the most talented member was Peter Gabriel and he improved after he left the band. Some of Phil Collins’ singing/crooning as a solo artist is absolutely horrific. His remake of “You Can’t Hurry Love” is an abomination that pales before the Motown original, and the video makes me want to hurl.
I prefer art rock and kraut rock to prog. Replace them with King Crimson, Kate Bush, Kraftwork, Soft Machine, Can, Faust, or Roxy Music.
Hall and Oates-Their whole bubblegum pop soul output is catchy but disposable and somewhat annoying. Tommy James or The Monkees would be far better choices and they cause fewer cavities. Does anyone really think “I can go for that” is better than “Last train to Clarksville,” “ Stepping Stone,” “Crimson and Clover and “Listen to the Band?”
Billy Joel-I like some of his ballads but as a rocker he is completely unconvincing. When he sings on “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” he offers no insight into the medium, and he sounds like he’s just jumping on the bandwagon. I’m sure Billy Joel understood punk and new wave about as much as Barry Manilow. When he sang about our most divisive war, Viet Nam, he took no stance on it. He also never stuck his neck out musically or actually did anything even bordering on edgy. Someone once wrote that Billy Joel was invented for people who think Elton John rocked too hard, and he was right.
Replace with Warren Zevon, or Nick Lowe, Dave Edmunds, Graham Parker or John Prine. Joan Baez did not write her own material but she had a better voice and covered better songs.
Kiss – Dave Marsh called this band” mercantile” and indeed most of their creativity went into their costumes and marketing rather than their songwriting. They were more of a circus act than a rock band. Alice Cooper and Devo also were creative at marketing and they had some interesting songs. Kiss has never created a great album. Most hard rock acts I’ve heard have better lyrics than Kiss (although I do sorta like “Rock n Roll All Night” and “Plaster Caster” which is about an old friend of mine. ) Songs like Calling Dr. Love are idiotic, and clichéd.
(replace with MC4, New York Dolls, or Blue Oyster Colt)
Queen-They have their good songs but Queen’s blend of pretentious glam bubble gum metal was less interesting than fellow glitter rockers Mott the Hoople, T Rex or Be Bop Deluxe. And of course Roxy Music’s music is miles above Queen‘s in terms of innovation and quality. The Sweet and Slade had better singles and they were a bigger influence on hair metal. I recently listened to a glam rock compilation and almost all the bands represented were as good as Queen or better.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers—I’ve always founded their blend of punk and funk unconvincing. Unlike Flea’s idols, the stooges, they were slick, derivative and overehearsed when I saw them live at Lollapalooza. They sold more than other funk rock bands like Faith No More but they weren’t necessarily better.
They should have only been allowed in after Sonic Youth, The Pixies, The Smiths, The Replacements, Mudhoney, X, Nine inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins, and Hole (they were all superior) and a few dozen other bands from that era. If you want to put in a purer funk group War, Hot Chocolate, and Rufus with Chaka Khan were more interesting.
Ringo Starrr- I loved his drumming in the Beatles, but in thirty years he still does not have enough great solo material to even fill one side of a greatest hits collection
Replace with Carole King or Joe Cocker from the same era. They were better songwriters and performers. Keith Moon, Charlie Watts, and John Bonham were better drummers but they probably don’t need to be in twice. Actually Mickey Waller and Kenny Jones are also underrated.
Rush –Don McCleese once wrote that Geddy Lee’s vocals sounded like a cross between Led Zeppelin and Donald Duck, but this is unfair to Donald. I have to admit that I like 2112. The band is pretty good instrumentally (although not as good as Cream) but their juvenile sci-fi inspired song writing is often laughable.
Replace with Hawkwind (Rush never did a song as interesting as “Silver Machine” or “Motorhead”)
Cat Stevens-) the only reason I can think he was included was for cultural diversity/political reasons. His biggest hit “Peace Train” is dated and has moronic lyrics, and Rod Stewart does a better version of his best song, “The First Cut is the Deepest.” And Rod was past his peak when he did it.
Replace with Tim Buckley, or Richard Thompson, Jim Croce, Nick Drake or Scott Walker. They could all teach Stevens a few things about real song writing.
Other bands I would like to see in the hall eventually: Oasis, Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, and Radiohead
Bands that should not get in: Sting, Coldplay, Duran Duran, Hootie and the Blowfish, Huey Lewis and the news, John Denver , Bon Jovi, Limp Biscuit, Justin Bieber, and Lincoln Park.
