Warning this Might Offend Some fans of Prog, Metal and Mainstream 80s Rock
I like all the nominees for the Rock Hall of Fame this year just fine to varying degrees (except for the dreaded Bon Jovi). I have ranked them all from best to most reprehensible and I judged them on their worthiness to join their wise counterparts in the great hall determined by the best and brightest in the music field (ok I am being partially sarcastic.)
Is it still too late to give blanket nominations to all of the surviving musicians on Nuggets and The Harder They Come? Who would not want to see a Question Mark and the Mysterians reunion?
1) Radiohead– No popular bands that broke through in a big way in the last 20 years have excited me as much as this group of arty, mopey sour pusses. Sure, they borrowed or stole from PIL, the Fall, Can, U2 and early Pink Floyd but in many cases, they transcended their influences. Oh and I have not stopped playing their last release since I bought it on CD. Burn the Witch. Too bad they are somewhat responsible for Coldplay.
2) Kate Bush– Like everybody says she’s influenced whole generations of younger singers like Bats for Lashes, Jenny Ival, Florence and the Machine, Tori Amos, Zola Jesus, and of course the always undeniably brilliant Bjork. In addition, Kate has made some of the most remarkable, eccentric and downright bizarre videos and songs in pop history, and she embodies avant-garde cool, elegance and excellence. Can you tell I am a fan? In addition, she looks and sounds like no one else. Despite her great qualifications, she has no chance at all to get in this time. She is too British and too experimental , and she was not popular enough in America. I call it Roxy Music syndrome. Because of her breathy, high-pitched vocals and idiosyncratic lyrics, a wrongheaded and incredibly stupid critic wrote that she sounded like a cross between Patti Smith and a Hoover vacuum. Have to admit I adore her work. Erase the race that claim the place And say we dig for ore!!
3) Rage against the Machine-Tom Morello (he found a way to simulate rap scratching with his instrument) is a guitar god, and Zach Le Rocha wrote terrific political lyrics. The whole band rocked too. They were smart, socially conscious, and they played great live (I saw them three times.) The only downside is they inspired a truckload of nauseatingly dumb rap/rock clones (I am looking at you Limp Biscuit and Linkin Park) and their discography is somewhat minuscule. Still I wish there were more bands like them. We could use them in the Trump era. They should get in.
4) The Zombies– Apart from the Pretty Things (and maybe The Creation) the Zombies are the most criminally underrated of all the British invasion bands. Their masterful Odyssey and Oracle is almost as great and groundbreaking as Sgt. Pepper’s , and it is as good as anything by anyone on the list (Forever Changes is even better though). They should be in already, but their limited commercial success in the USA might keep them out of the hall a little longer. Then again, it might be too late for them.
5) MC5– They were undeniably brilliant creating a unique politicized blend of hard rock (primarily influenced by the Who) and free jazz (mostly copying Albert Ayler and Sun Ra). The two guitarists were ferociously talented, and this band paved the way for the Clash, most grunge (it is a shame about Chris Cornell), Rage against the Machine and the mighty Stooges. In addition, every time I see their picture I am tempted to yell out “Kick out the jam motherfuckers.” Wayne Kramer’s solo stuff is very good too. Unfortunately I think there is only one survivor (unless you count the temporary singer Handsome Dick Manitoba) so they cannot play live at the ceremony. The New York Dolls and Television are as deserving. To see my interview with their ex manager go here.
6) Nina Simone– I almost feel bad about ranking her this so low because Nina probably sang better and had better vocal chops than anyone had on the list. However, what she does is pretty far from rock. Still she should be in some hall of fame (perhaps jazz?) I saw a great cabaret tribute to her, which included Chicago poet, Marvin Tate. If they let her in should they also consider George Jones, Merle Haggard, Peter Tosh, John Coltrane and Fela Kuti. They all have more of a rebellious rock spirit than Chicago or Billy Joel.
7) Rufus featuring Chaka Khan– I love their work and not just “Tell Me Something Good” (which is a wonderful sexy toe-tapping masterpiece) and their rhythmic playing could definitely funk me up. They (or at least Chaka) have already been turned down from the hall several times. If Janet Jackson could not get in, they/she do not have much of a chance. I feel for you Chaka. War should also get in. And let’s not forget about Labelle and Hot Chocolate.
9) Depeche Mode– I like Johnny Cash’s cover of “Personal Jesus” even better than the original, but both versions are classics. I have no big objection to them getting in except I think that New Order, Joy Division and Nine Inch Nails have done more exciting work in the same or a similar genre. Mode did liven up radio in the 80s though and they helped keep Huey Lewis off the air for a while.
10) The Cars-They made poppy, tuneful, and somewhat innovative music that was usually smart and commercially successful. However, I do not know anyone that would risk their lives to see them or name their first baby after one of them. They still sound good in the car but their music lacks urgency or an edge. Their music probably suffers because unlike most new wave bands from America, they are overfamiliar and they have been overplayed on the radio. Better them than the knack.
11) The Meters– This may sound like I am splitting hairs, but they are a great backing band, but I am not sure that backing bands should get in unaccompanied. The E Street band should have just gotten in with Springsteen and the Attractions should have gotten in with Elvis Costello. They should nominate them with the Neville Brothers or the Wild Tchoupitoulas who are high on my list. They did play on many great tracks though. My friend Gary does not thinking of them as a mere backing band because they sing too.
12) Eurhythmics-They made inventive videos and Annie Lennox is a captivating Bowiesquese chanteuse. Their atmospheric music holds up too. The only problem is that there were at least a few dozen ‘80s new wave (or is that old new music or classic alternative?) performers that were just as good. I am partial to Robyn Hitchcock, The Cure, Nick Cave, and Laurie Anderson myself.
13) L. L. Cool J-He was one of the first big solo rappers I really liked, and he helped make the genre more popular and more respectable. He was also riveting whenever he performed on TV. I still think he is slightly less exciting than Ice T though who has never been nominated. To be honest I may not have heard enough of his work though. Any recommendations?
14) Sister Rosetta Tharpe– She was a phenomenally talented pioneer so they should put her in the early influence category along with Django Reinhart. I plan to study her more though. I liked all her clips on youtube.
15) J. Geils Band-They were not very innovative but they made some of the best straightforward, Stonesy, no frills low selling rock n roll of the late 70s. Their poppier and more commercial 80s stuff like Freeze Frame and Love Stinks was still good and undeniably catchy if nonessential. It is just that there are so many better bands that have not gotten in yet. Peter Wolf WAS a charismatic vocal powerhouse and they could play. Unfortunately Geils himself just died. Maybe he went to Monkey Island.
16) Dire Straits –They made tasteful, tuneful, and popular hits with superlative guitar work, interesting lyrics, and slightly less impressive vocals. They fulfill most of the right criteria to get in the hall, but don’t you get annoyed every time you hear “I want my MTV?” In addition, do you think Mark Knopfler has real blood or is he a replicant? He does not always sound fully human. I wonder if he dreams of unicorns. He is somewhat clever in his own smug way. Still I do sort of like his work honest I do. In addition, anyone who has ever called this band new wave or punk should turn in his or her rock critic press credentials. Not bad though.
17) Link Wray– I like his guitar work quite a bit, but I probably would not rush out to buy or download a Link Wray solo album. I do not know many people that would. His work with Robert Gordon was cool though. My friend Gary thinks I underrated him and he recommends his version of “Fire and Brimstone” plus the album it was on.
18) Judas Priest– Ok I admit heavy metal is one of my blind spots. In the 70s war between punk and metal, (before they merged) I was definitely on the punk side. However, even I cannot resist their exciting cover of The Green Manalishi (With the Two Prong Crown). They are far less dumb and offensive then some of longhaired head banging beer guzzling peers and as far as I know, the lead singer was the first out of the closet metal person. I still prefer Lemmy’s band who never was nominated (I think most 70s punk fans did too). Give me Motorhead or give me death!!!
19) Moody Blues– I have mixed feelings about these well-mannered geezers who appear on PBS pledge drives much too often. The lead vocalist has a gorgeous voice even though he definitely never sounds like “a singer in a rock n roll band.” Their debut single is a wonderful classic, and I have enjoyed “Days of Future Passed” the whole way through many times even with the overblown orchestration and pedestrian poetry. However, apart from a few singles they have not been particularly interesting after say 1973 when they started remaking the same album every year. Still their agreeable frothy fluff is certainly less hideous than Emerson, Lake, and Palmer or Asia, and I certainly prefer them to Journey or Chicago if I am allowed to choose my poison. I do not always turn off the radio when I hear them. Also like Yes even when they are good, the Moodies come off as somewhat ridiculous. I would definitely hire their lyricist to write a Hallmark Card. I don’t smoke pot or this might be ranked higher. In addition, Procol Harum made better albums. Go now.
20.) Bon Jovi– This slick, commercial, and overproduced corporate band epitomizes everything I hated about rock in the 80s. They are marginally better than the hair metal bands of the same period though. Jon Bon Jovi sounds like Springsteen’s demonic offspring. I wonder who the mom is.
PS. Where is Rodriquez?
